it's late and i should be on my way to bed soon.
but i've got a tug at the back of my neck that wont go away.
boy#1 is......idk but i cant shake him off. and im feeling like i should keep him around.
...but i dont want to...
i told myself i wouldnt.
so why am i? is it things hes saying? is it because im lonely and im craving for some attention from someone who isnt blood related?
i think thats what it is. im a very lonely person, believe it or not.
i just want someone to play with my hair really...so i can relax. i havent "relaxed" in months. i dont remember when the last time was. and the stress is not even school related. shame. two days ago i downed a cup of wine extremely fast. and tonight, i did the same. so what does this mean? am i really stressed?
...im praying this bump on the back of my neck is NOT a blood clot. theres a chance that it is though. it hurts when i touch it. it hurts my head when i try to massage it.
Lord take it away...
i havent blogged in a while, but this one felt good. i think im going to pursue boy #1.
no...no i wont. scratch that. pretend i did not say it.
::sigh:: my bed is calling me.
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